Blogging from 30 Thousand Feet Over the Arabian Desert

If you ever asked me in my younger days what would be an exciting week I may well have said something like “fly 5000 miles, have currencies from 4 countries in my wallet, and wake up wondering where I am.”

In my adult life I have had quite a few weeks like that. I am in the middle of another one.

The day before yesterday I was in Chiang Mai. A 90 minute flight on Air Asia took me to Bangkok for one night. At five a.m. I was on my way to the airport to catch a 7 hour flight to Doha on a Qatar Air Triple 7. After a three hour layover in the Doha airport, an hour on an A320 to Dubai, and hour in a cab to our townhouse, I spent one night in “my own” bed and got up with the call to prayer for my ride to the Sharjah airport.

As I write this I am in an Air Arabia A320 on my way from Sharjah to Beirut. Yes Beirut. They say it is the Paris of the Middle East.  (I have heard that honorific compared to winning the NIT.)

I have a relationship with the back of the seat in front of me that the second dog in a dogsled team must have with the lead dog.

But I love it.

Let us start this episode of The Other side of the Coconut in Chiang Mai. I had planned to be there a month. My plans were for nothing more exotic than oral surgery and subsequent recovery. The surgery went extremely well and the recovery was like finding a $20 bill in an old pair of jeans, pleasant and quickly gone.

I was able to change my flight home very inexpensively.

So my month was now a week. I was very familiar with Chiang Mai. I had done just about every dumb tourist thing to do that exists there. I had timed this trip to the dentist to attend Loy Kathrong, which if you are a faithful reader you already know I enjoyed immensely.

There was one thing in the Lonely Planet book that I missed last time, and was determined to see this trip. There is a village in the mountains north of CM, near the border with Myanmar (or Burma if you prefer). The name of the village is Mai Salong.

Mai Salong did not exist before a regiment of the Kuongmintang Army escaped from China after the revolution, complete with their families, horses and traditions.  Horses are rare in Thailand and the Thai word for these people translates to “The Galloping Chinese”.  For the first 35 or so years of their existence, the villagers survived, and thrived, on the opium trade. The village was inaccessible except on foot or hooves. Eventually, the King of Thailand told the people that they would be accepted in Thailand, but they had to quit running opium, and let the government build them a road to civilization. The King also sponsored a new industry, that being the cultivation, processing and sale of tea.

Lonely planet described Mai Salong as a mini Hong Kong, steeped in Chinese culture and architecture. Poppycock. The only thing it is steeped in is tea. Lots and lots of tea.

Bags of locally grown tea of different types. I tasted about a half dozen before I had to run and find a bathroom.

The Chinese lady who made me tea, then sold me a bunch of it.

Picking tea.

At the tea plantation I found this sign. If you can tell me what it means, I will buy you a cup of tea.

The only thing remotely Chinese about Mai Salong was this. It is the Chinese Martyrs Museum. The museum is dedicated to the Kuongmintang of the area that fought the Chinese communists in a nasty war in Northern Thailand in the late 1970's. We did not hear about it of course because we were in our own nasty war a bit east.

It was interesting to find four Christian churches and two mosques in Mai Salong. I do not remember seeing a single wat.

The following day I was up before the poppies bloomed to go see an amazing, yearly, but amazing event. The entire Monastic community of Northern Thailand, 12,500 strong, gathers in Chiang Mai in a ceremony to receive alms. The monks arrived in the dark and filled about five city blocks on one side of a raised platform.  The platform had a statue of Buddha and the venerated elders of the monastic community. The four blocks on the other side were filled with civil and military authorities. The point of the gathering, after much praying and chanting, was the thousands of monks walking thru the government/military people who put offerings in their big bowls. Normal civilians could also give alms. You bought them from an alms dealer nearby. The alms were mostly rice, noodles, bottled water and fruit juices. The bowls filled up quickly and people walked behind the monks and transferred the lot to large plastic bags. I would estimate that they collected at least a few tons of subsistence for the monasteries.    I will let the following photos give you a better picture of the event.

Monks gathered before dawn.

When the sun came up, it was like orange water color in the rain. Orange everywhere. My orange receptors went on overload.

There were old monks...

… tattooed monks

..and baby monks!

My alms dealer

This is also a custom. You pay a bit for a bird in a cage and set it free.

My bird going free. For all I know they fly back to the "Bird man" and he sells them to someone else. But thats cool.

The entire point of the morning is to watch the politicians and military people pay homage and give alms to the monastic community. Thailand ROCKS!

 

OK, the plane is now coming into Beirut. I am looking forward to seeing this city that is so full of history and conflict.

Thanks for reading this post. Tell a friend, make a comment, and stay tuned for the story of our visit to the land of Danny Thomas.

Golden Triangle, Mehkong River, Hill Tribes, All In One Day!

Ok my intrepid readers, pour yourself a cup of coffee and get comfortable. I intend to entertain (bore?) you with details of a 14 hour tour Mary Ann and I enjoyed yesterday in Northern (AMAZING) Thailand.

The Golden Triangle, Thailand, Burma and Laos.

I had heard from other Farongs living here in Chiang Mai about Mr. Oh. He is a young taxi driver who speaks perfect English. Let me take that back, he speaks perfect American. When I asked him how he knows so many American slang phrases, his answer was “Eddie Murphy movies”.

He told us that we could go anywhere within reason and stop when we needed coffee or to use the rest room. Our first stop was a combo of the two. Now I am all for international rest room signs, we have all gotten used to them where ever we travel, but sometimes they over-state the obvious. This is an example.

when ya gotta go, ya gotta go!

The fellow that owns the restaurant across the street from our hotel told us  “You just have to see the White Temple.” It was the closest thing on our list for the day, so our first stop. I’m telling you, it almost ruined my day. It was designed and built by a Thai artist who has gotten quite wealthy selling his art. I never want to see any of his artwork, because this guy is sick in the head. If Hell has a temple, it would look like this. I am only going to post one of the pictures I took, believe me when I say it is the least disturbing of the lot.

Hands reaching up as from hell

Inside the temple were painted incredibly disturbing images, including imagery of  the 9/11 tragedy that make the real thing look like a mere bicycle accident. I am glad to report this is NOT an official Buhdist temple, it is just a tourist trap.  We could not leave there fast enough, so I will not dwell on it further.

Back to the fun stuff.

The next stop was to visit what people refer to here as “the hill tribes.”

There are five major tribes living in the hills of Northern Thailand. They all have tribal origins in Burma, or Laos as well as being natives of Thailand. They are the Akha, the Lahu, the Palong, the Lu Mien and the Karen. Especially the Karen (pronounced KAHRUN) are persecuted for political reasons in Burma (now known as Myanmar). There are about 400,000 of them, with 100,000 living now in Thailand  The Karen, who were just this week granted an autonomous province in Thailand, are known as the “Long Neck” people. The Palong are known as the “Big Earring” people. Keep reading folks, my sociology lesson will end and I will give you some pictures to look at.

Anyway, these people have suffered through persecutions, opium wars and modern society, yet maintain their customs and dress. No Ropa Americana here. You wont find them wearing Yankee caps, god bless them. They have had to accept that tourism brings them the Baht. Now, if you are true adventurers, and have days to explore, you can go off deep into the hills of Thailand to find their real villages. How welcome a farong would be, I do not know. In our case, we touristed out and went to a set of five villages off in the hills that are set up for us to go spend money in. And boy did we. I think a couple of them are retired now. We found a selection of handicrafts available here in the village, for a mere fraction of the big city cost. I for one could not pass up a few things, but to be fair, I think Mary Ann outspent me abou 5 to1. She bought some marvelous scarfs, carved elephants and a few other things. Our hotel room looks like a gift shop this morning. What was my favorite trinket I bought? Well, here is a photo of it.

Two trinkets in one!

In case this is escaping you. it is a coffee cup/ashtray. Have a cup of coffee in the morning, then a smoke. How utilitarian can an item be? It is hand made out of bamboo with the decorative trimming made from the bark of the bamboo. Here is a shot of the old Akha man making it.

It took him about a half hour to make. Price? About 90 cents

Now I know, if motivated, the indigenous in Bocas could make these, but I think they lack the motivation.

The next village was the Palong. They grow coffee and pineapples. They are known as “The Big earring People”. I will let a couple pictures tell the thousand words I would probably write. You can thank me later.

Planting new coffee bushes

Now, you really need a close up to get the true experience here.

Can she get HBO on those ear rings?

I’m sorry but all I could think of was if she had to pay the satellite company for her reception.

Then it was onto the village of the Long Neck Karen. These people were referred to as the tribe of Giraffe women by a Polish explorer. Legend has it that the brass rings protect the women from getting eaten by tigers. Other legends say the men make the women do it so other tribes will not steal their women. I don’t know, and I do not think anyone knows why it started, but they continue it now to keep individual tribal identity, something very important to them. The rings are made of brass. I weighed one, over 4 kilos, thats over ten pounds to carry on you neck, 24/7. The things do NOT come off. They weave all day. A woman who cannot weave, cannot find a husband. The scarfs they weave are incredibly delicate and beautiful. Just ask Mary Ann, she now has a collection of them for her “over air-conditioned” office back in Sharjah. Ok, I’ll shut up, sit back and enjoy some more photos,

Making Mary Ann a scarf!

They start wearing the brass rings as toddlers

OK, so we had just doubled the GNP of the hill tribes for the day. They danced for us and even applauded Mary Ann when she made a donation in the name of BESO to the following;

Education in the third world, something has to improve folks.

Not being able to solve the worlds problems, we set off for the Mehkong river. Yes, I know, during that little “police action” in the sixties the NYT called it the Mekong. Here it is the Mehkong. This river starts as ice and snow melt in the Tibetan Himalayas. It flows through China, then becomes the border between Laos and Thailand, before heading down to Viet Nam and the “Mekong” delta.

Where we were headed for is known in lore and fact as “The Golden Triangle.”  It is where Burma, Laos and Thailand all meet. It was the center of the poppy growing, opium and heroin production. It was where the Brits scored the opium to addict the Chinese, which eventually led to the Opium War. It was where the drugs that end up on the streets of the USA came from for a long time, especially during the Viet Nam War. The only thing overtly left of all this trade today is a couple of Opium Museums, one of which we visited at the end of the tour. But first, our “illegal” entry into Laos!

Mr. Oh took us to a town on the Mehkong called Chiang Sean. Here, Thai boat men run the weirdest looking boats I have ever seen, or at least ridden in.

About the siz of a cayuco. Other than that way different.

They are made of plywood. They have internal combustion engines mounted on the back, probably out of old Toyotas. Interestingly, they have been converted to run on on the same gas that people in Bocas use to cook with.  Once they get going, they really zoom up the river. With about 6 inches of freeboard, it makes for a thrilling ride.

They take you to the other side of the river, to an island that belongs to Laos called, Don Sao. Technically we had now entered Laos. No immigration, and alas no stamp on our passports. It is actually just another tourist trap. Dozens of tourist oriented crafts, and something I think you might find amazing. I am putting in a larger photo this time so you can  look closely.

A cobra in a bottle of booze

Snake whiskey. They were offering free samples. Uh, no thanks. They had big bottles with big snakes and little bottles with baby cobras. Some had scorpions as well.  OK, I am a bit adventurous. I used to think I would try anything once. I now know different.

I bought a Golden Triangle T-shirt,  and a nicely carved stone box which I have no use for. I wanted a Lao Beer, so I found one. The same store sold smokes. I looked at a new brand and decided to try them.

At this price ANY ONE can afford cancer!

They were damn good. Now get this. A carton for 150 Baht. Do the math, I did. that is 15 Baht per pack, which is about 46 cents. That means each cig costs about 2.4 cents. Light ’em up!

Our time as illegals in Laos was up and we got back on the boat. He took us to the confluence of the Mehkong and Mae Nam Sai rivers, which is the territorial boundary of the three countries, Thailand, Laos and Burma. I call Myanmar Burma, because the Thais call it Burma. I imagine that if I ever go to Myanmar, I better call it Myanmar.

He then took us to a landing at a place called Sop Ruak, where Mr. Oh met us. I’ll share my favorite pics of this place.

He was about 75 feet high, really big.

But his belly was not as big as MINE!

From where we had lunch (gotta feed the Belly) I took a picture of three countries at once. But because I do not own photo shop, I cannot merge them into a panoramic for you. Suffice to say that eating lunch while enjoying a view of three different countries is rare. Personally, I have only seen three countries at the same time (Bolivia, Peru and Chile) once before, and I do not think Mary Ann ever has.

It was getting late, and we had one more stop to make.

No free samples.

This was a very cool museum. It is one of two in the region. The other is run by the government, this one by people who cannot grow poppies any longer so they decided to harvest tourist Bahts.

On the way home we stopped at a restaurant with a catchy name.

Cabbages and condoms?

This is an organization that has promoted birth control, aids prevention and education in Thailand for over 20 years. They won a huge grant from the Gates foundation, and do excellent work. They of course also had a gift shop, and yes, we bought more stuff.

We finally made it home. with a 25% tip, Mr Oh got $125 for 14 hours of driving us all over northern Thailand and entertaining us. I hope I have entertained you, thanks for reading.